love that covers our brokenness.

love that covers our brokenness.

the other day i was at the store with my friend when i noticed this bowl for sale; it was only 49 cents! besides the amazing price, it was also a really cute color of orange with cream polka dots. i was stoked—yes, i’m a grandma and simple cute bowls make me incredibly happy. as i was in line to check out, my friend pointed out that the bowl had a chip, thus accounting for the incredibly low price. i’m not gonna lie, i debated whether to get it or not. but the chip was relatively small and seen mostly just from the inside so, after some hesitation, i decided to still take it. besides, it was 49 cents. well, i’m sitting at my kitchen table right now eating oatmeal out of the bowl, and i was just inspired to write this. have you ever heard the cheesy quote about everyone fighting battles no one knows about or something of that sort? this bowl (funnily enough) reminded me of that. on the outside, the bowl is one of the happiest i have ever seen, sitting in all of its orange and cream polka dotted glory; good enough for any home. but once inspected further, the chip becomes very noticeable. now, you may think i’m going with a lesson on the basic-but-true quote previously mentioned, and although that is definitely a good takeaway, it’s not where i’m going with this. what this bowl made me think of was the relationship between God and us. the bowl had one small chip and as a result its price was extremely discounted. although a plus for the buyer, it does show just how much the value of the bowl dropped because of it. and even though the bowl was still totally usable and super cheap, i debated buying it. in the scenario i’m trying to paint, God is the buyer and we’re the bowl, but with a couple of modifications. i don’t know about you, but i am not someone with only one chip in me. i have cuts and bruises and scars and wounds and ugly parts and everything else in between. but yet, in God’s eyes, my value has not changed; in fact, His want and love for us has only increased! i debated buying a 49 cent bowl because of a chip, but God did not hesitate in sending His only son to die for us despite all our imperfections. i think sometimes it’s easy to overlook the depth, complexity, and greatness of God’s love, so i hope this may be a reminder of just how valuable you are to the King of Kings. it’s crazy to fully understand once you really sit down and think about it. but i want to leave you with this; if you ever think that your scars lessen your worth, think again. God loves you unconditionally, and He wants you despite anything. i hope and pray that one day we both can grasp even a little bit of that concept. maybe then our self love and appreciation of our worth can fully blossom with our roots planted in the foundation of knowing who we are in the eyes of Christ. whoever you are, please know that you are loved.

praying for you always,

diana.

ps. although my goal for this blog post was not to talk about internal battles, i do want to briefly touch up on it. it is essential to not only understand that many people put up a facade of being okay on the outside, but to also try and look deeper to see past the surface in order to possibly help that person. the outside is never an accurate indication as to how many cracks a person is dealing with inside, and a little kindness can go a long way in helping them.

the fire kept ablaze.

the fire kept ablaze.

i was talking with some friends a couple of months ago about being on fire for God. in that conversation, someone had mentioned that the problem wasn’t so much about being on fire for God but continuing that same passion and desire even as we settled back into our daily routine. i had completely forgotten about that conversation until now, when the inspiration for this blog post hit. the other day, we were praising God around a campfire when i sort of realized something. you cannot expect to stay on fire for God if you are doing nothing to add to the flame. the fire that we were around was constantly dying down. if it weren’t for the wood that was being continuously added, the fire would have died down early on. and logically, it makes so much sense! That is why i don’t understand why i ever thought that my spiritual fire for God was any different. usually, after a good spiritual emphasis week, christian concert, church service, whatever it might be, i am on a spiritual high. i’m so pumped for Jesus that i feel as if i may just burst sometimes. but as the days pass, it usually fades and i settle back into my daily routine. i just got back from a spiritual retreat and it’s always disappointing to go back to not feeling that passion or connection with God as fiercely. but what changes am i making to my routine to add fuel to the fire? in what ways can i keep the flames alive? i don’t really have an answer; but i do know that i want to always be overwhelmed by God’s presence in my life, and that there are things i need to do in order to get there. for now, i think that becoming more involved in the ministry, surrounding myself with people who’s desires are the same, and constantly trying to be in connection with God through music, prayer, etc. is the way to go. i’m still learning how to further develop my friendship with God, but i’m tired of using the excuse that He’s not physically here. i’m tired of using the excuse that i just get so caught up with things of life when i wouldn’t even have one if it weren’t for Him. i’m tired of not making Him my top priority. and even as i’m sitting here writing this, i know it’s not gonna be an immediate change, but i certainly want to try. i say this for you just as much as me, never stop pursuing God.

praying for you always,

diana.

yes despite fear.

yes despite fear.

“let the truth of God’s word overcome your fear”. i was reading my devotional today and this sentence was in it, and it’s just kinda stuck with me throughout the day. i just got back from a prayer conference where, in addition to attending, i was also a leader of a small group. when i found out that my chaplain had selected me as one of the few, my immediate thought was to reach out and politely decline. who was i to be a leader? however, after a conversation with him, my mind was slightly eased enough to give being a leader a try. saying yes led me to what has been one of the best experiences i’ve ever had. although i was nervous to know that there were people relying on me (that i could easily have let down), having people i could count on and trusting in God helped me be the leader He needed me to be. when the conference was over, i got messages letting me know that i reflected God and had made an impact. the beautiful messages brought tears to my eyes because i realized that it’s not about our abilities and/or capacities, but the miracles that He can perform through a willing person. the devotional from today was very fitting to these recent events in my life. i hope to continue saying yes to God despite my fears. miracles happen when we allow God to use us. i encourage you to tune in and listen to the callings God has prepared for you. they can change not only your world, but the world of others.

praying for you always,

diana.

listen to the unspoken.

listen to the unspoken.

do you ever get so busy with life, bustling through every day, that you forget to take time to listen to God? sometimes i’m just moving from one place to another, whether it be physically or mentally, that I simply acknowledge God’s presence, and don’t take the time to try and listen to what He may be trying to tell me. right now, i’m caught between two decisions. as i was listening to music, writing a pro/con list, and trying to talk to God, i suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to stop. i turned off the music, put down my pencil, and just sat there thinking. sometimes i get so caught up in trying to talk to God, that I forget to do the listening part. i talk, talk, talk, feel nothing and/or don’t have any more time to dwell on it and then i move on without caring to listen to what God has to say.   it’s easy to forget to listen and only talk when praying to someone that doesn’t verbally reply. so find out what way you and God best communicate. the way God and I mostly communicate is through feelings. i talk, and he helps me understand my feelings whatever way He sees fit. it may not be that way for everyone, so find out how it is for you. my challenge for me and you, is to try to also listen whenever you talk to God. in addition, maybe take five minutes every morning to try and see what God is trying to tell you for that day. i haven’t tried that yet, so i don’t know if there is visible change in your life, but i want to try it out. maybe you would like to try it as well. who knows, maybe that way we can become more in tune with God’s heart and the plans He has for us.

praying for you always*,

diana.

*i decided to switch my outro from yours truly to this because i really am praying for you. the very few faithful readers and any random stranger that may stumble upon this page.

there is always a way.

there is always a way.

sometimes i want to start over. not get a new life, simply start mine from fresh. have the chance to do some things different. mistakes are inevitable, i just wish that some of the ones i’ve made would have been different. the other day, i had to drive by myself to this church that is around 30 minutes from where i live. i have been there enough times that i’m pretty familiar with the route, but not enough that i trust myself to not need a gps. the way there went pretty well, but on the way back, i missed not one, but two exits. it ended up working out in my favor though, because i discovered this cute little restaurant, park, and a couple of other places. of course i made it home. i was never lost, my gps simply needed to reroute itself. the following week i went to the same church, but with my mom and little brother this time around. and although my mom doesn’t need a gps to get home, i insisted we use the one i followed the previous week because i wanted to show them the places i saw. it was until we missed the two exits this time around again (i swear we are not incompetent people, it was just a tricky sudden exit and i’m a terrible navigator), that i remembered i went the route i did because i missed my exit and the backup exit to that one as well. sometimes we make the same mistakes over and over again. or we learn from our previous mistakes but then make new ones and it is just a cycle. every wrong choice, can lead us one step further away from God. but i’m a firm believer that no matter where you are, there is alway a way to find our way back. although i missed the exit and the backup one, i was just rerouted again towards the same destination. the cool thing about God is that He can always create a new path, a new way. i mean, after all, He is the way.  i guess what I’m trying to say is don’t give up. even when you allow the weight of your mistakes to overpower your sense of self worth, or influence your future choices because you feel it is too late or there is no point anymore. don’t give up on yourself when even the one perfect person to ever exist hasn’t.

yours truly,

diana.

a message on my heart.

a message on my heart.

you are not too broken for God. read that sentence again. you are not, and will never be too broken for God. i know that sometimes it may feel like life is too much, everything piles on top and you feel too far down for God to reach down and rescue you. too many things have gone wrong, you’ve made the wrong choices too many times, but i’m telling you, that God still wants you. He wants you right here, right now. not you from the past before things went wrong, not you in the future when things are better. but you in the present, despite whatever you may feel makes you unworthy of God’s love, we serve a God who created the entire world out of nothing, so believe me when i say that your brokenness is not beyond repair. i don’t know why things happen the way they do, but i believe that sometimes it takes falling to rock bottom to fall upon the rock Himself. because out of your broken pieces, God creates beauty. and it is in the darkness that light shines the brightest. it is not too late for you, despite what you may think. i get it, sometimes its hard to see past our circumstances, our past. but please understand, that God sees beyond that. He doesn’t look at the now, but the potential you have to do amazing things. Jesus did not die on the cross just to turn His back on us. and even if you have given up on yourself, know that God hasn’t. although i may not know you, know that i am praying for you and i haven’t given up either. and i know that my words may very likely not mean anything, but please, whatever you do, don’t feed yourself the lie that you have been abandoned by God. that is not true. i pray that you may come to understand that one day, and see the beauty God can transform out of ashes. it may not happen overnight, but He can and He will transform your life, if only you let Him.

yours truly,

diana.

not mine, but Yours.

not mine, but Yours.

a habit that my mom taught me through example, is to always pray before driving. It is so ingrained in me, that i automatically do it without thinking. the other day, i was running late and quickly closed my eyes to pray before heading out. however, in the moment, because of the lack of time i had to spare, my prayer was the following. “God just let your will be done.” that was it. and although it was only a few seconds, it felt more powerful than any other prayer i had said before driving off somewhere. granted, it was that short because i didn’t have the time to go through the usual phrases having to do with protection as i drove, and other things going on in my life. but as i was driving, i began to think about what i had just prayed. and it made me realize that i don’t say that often enough. God, let Your will be done. i mean it’s not even so much about that but more of a, help me be okay with your will. i think that is something so important and also what Jesus modeled for us in the garden of gethsemane. in luke 22:42, Jesus said, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” i am not there yet, where i accept everything that goes on in my life with peace. i wrestle with the why’s and what if’s that come with struggles. but i do earnestly pray that my faith can grow to the point where my circumstances don’t blind the glory of God. my prayers still and will continue to consist of me pouring out my heart to God in frustration, happiness, sadness, exhaustion, and the many more emotions that go through me in a day, but i aim to end every prayer with not my will God, but yours. because i know that despite what is going on in my life, God will get me through it and one day i will be able to look back and see His hand in everything. it can be a struggle so i pray that in the midst of all that, your faith may continue to grow to new heights as well.

yours truly,

diana.